Last summer I was hiking with a group in Colorado up to a beautiful mountain lake. Upon reaching the emerald glacial pool I took in the magnitude of the scene and quickly shifted my gaze to the mountain summit which appeared only a short distance ahead. I told the group I was going to do a quick push towards the top and would make it back before their return decent. After 20 minutes of ascending steep scree fields I found myself in a saddle probably 600' below the peak. I looked down at my group dotting the edges of the lake and determined that I should probably forsake pushing forward towards the top and return to the pack. As I stood upon a boulder resting at the height of the saddle, my disappointment quickly shifted to a profound peace wrapped in the silence and isolation of the remote beauty. I took deep rythmic breaths drawing in the cool mountain air saturated with fragrances of pine and mountain flowers. After observing the incredible scene before me - standing between two turquoise lakes below, surrounded by distant mountain ranges back-dropped by a blue sky accented with puffy white clouds - I closed my eyes and continued to breathe slow and deep. In this moment I heard the voice of Creator God grip my heart and speak a profound and much needed truth into my heart, "Know and appreciate your location, but never mistake it as the destination." As I chewed on this statement, here what I squeezed out of the statement...
- There is a illusive and false idea that a destination exists in this life: I have found myself. I know God. I have the truth. I will arrive when... I get THE job; I get THE relationship; I get THE degree; I get THE house. These things may serve as significant way-points along my journey but they certainly are not the destination. Thinking of such things as destinations keep us locked into the idea that happiness and peace will come after certain objectives are achieved; that there is a defined state of arrival.
- I don't want to fit the prescribed and arranged boxes created for me that keep my heart and mind locked in one place or mindset. My relationship with and understanding of myself, God, and people in my life will continually change and grow. Tomorrow may look very different from today. I'm not scared about this - I'm excited about this! Learning never stops. Growth results. Truth is discovered. Change is embraced. Life is an adventure!
- I might not be where I want to be in some aspect of my being or environment, but I can observe it, appreciate it and not judge it. Just as a parent views their developing child, so God views me. When I crawl and cannot stand - it's beautiful and accepted. When I learn to stand, fall, and walk again - it's beautiful and accepted. When I am a child awkwardly running as my coordination develops - it's beautiful and accepted. When I walk confidently and proudly, when I trudge carrying the weight of the world - it's beautiful and accepted.
- If I accept my present understanding and light as a destination, I miss the opportunity for further growth and lose my own authenticity and child-like heart that pushes me towards experimentation, discovery, risk, learning, and exploration. This is a deep essence of being human! Adulting does not mean I must forsake these innate virtues.
Too much of my life has been composed of playing the songs written by others. The music still carries beauty and may even profoundly touch the listener, but it lacks authentic emotion and leaves me disenchanted. I have been freed to regain my sense of wonder at 30 and now I'm creating my own music. It's not always understood and embraced by all just as any music style was received publicly - jazz, reggae, country, techno... but it's my music and it's honest! Living in a world where there is so little that can be trusted, I am going to strive to be honest. I'm done striving to be right, good, or accepted by squeezing into uncomfortable molds that I don't fit. Instead I strive to just be honest. With this, I acknowledge that many people are uncomfortable and can even become hostile towards this honesty. I don't need to share all of it with everyone. It is my music to protect, share, and create. I hope you enjoy following my tracks as I create written way-points. I am eager to follow you in yours and maybe at times we will even find ourselves sharing the same path. At times that we don't, I commit to striving to celebrate your journey while curiously and respectfully learning about new territory that I have not experienced.
Unconditional love is rare and sacred. Thank you for being a person that helps me to believe it is real. The way I see it, we each are a way-point plugged into the Global Positioning System - life on earth. Together we create the track log that is humanity. It is my prayer that at the end of my life, my waypoint will lead future generations into the beauty, peace, and freedom of the mountains.
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