Whistling, I walked through the store towards the back greeting my co-workers as I passed, "Hey Bob, good to see ya!... How ya doing Jim?... Good morning Erica - the coffee smells great!" I grab a Styrofoam cup, poor myself a freshly brewed cup of Joe, and head out the back door. I'm greeted by the familiar and wonderful scent of freshly cut lumber. I head towards the sound of a rumbling diesel engine springing to life and see my supervisor Matt dismounting the fork lift. "Hey Jason, I need you to take those pallets of fire logs to the front of the store." I quickly down the last bit of coffee and climb onto the driver’s seat. "You remember how to run that thing now, don't ya?" "Yeah, I got it boss!" I disengage the e-brake, stretch my leg out to compress the clutch and yank the stubborn stick into 1st. The beast roars to life and I raise the forks slightly as I spear the first pallet. I tilt the forks back, elevate, kick it in reverse, spin around and head to the front of the store in one slick motion. Cruising up to the store front I pause to make sure no customers are in the target zone. Stacked neatly in front of the store is one full pallet of fire logs. I raise the forks up and prepare to drive the new pallet right on top, closing the distance with a confident speed - 10 ft...8 ft....6 ft.....4 ft.....bang! I'm startled by the noise and horrified i gaze upward along the fork beam to see the overhanging roof. My gut churns as I notice the big red 'A' in ACE has now been slightly disfigured. In a panic I glance around and see that no one but me and God is aware of my mishap.
Eventually, I summon the courage to make the walk of shame upstairs towards the manager's office. Dave opens his office door to my timid knock and welcomes me in with a premature smile. With sweaty hands and a trembling voice I precede to retell the horrid incident. Dave looks at me sternly and states, "Well, you're right, that's not good news." Prepared for the worse I state in desperation, "Whatever it costs for a new sign you can take straight out of my paycheck." With a slight chuckle, Dave says with a smirk, "It would take A LOT of paychecks to replace a sign like that." Dave agrees to take a look at it and thanks me for reporting the incident to him. My stomach lives in my throat for the remainder of the shift. At the days end, I head to the mail boxes to fill out my timesheet. Inside my box I find a sealed envelope with my name on it. Expecting a bill or letter of termination I slowly opened the paper and read:
Dear Jason,
I was very impressed with you for reporting to me immediately following the incident with the sign. Accidents happen and it means a great deal that you honestly owned up to me for your mistake. You are a true man of integrity and this will take you far in life. It's a privilege to have you working for us here.
Sincerely,
Dave
...............................................................
Driving down the road, I can quickly spot drivers who need a little education from the Department of Jason. At the end of the day I can take inventory of the people who acted foolishly or wronged me in some way - the bag lady who failed to protect my bananas, the postman who failed to deliver my package on time, or the dude who stole my pull up bar at the gym. It's easy to do this with myself too - I can look at my to-do list and fret over the two out of 15 items that I didn't get crossed off. I can say a dozen intelligent things in a day’s time (on a good day) yet the foolish remark that escaped is too often one I'm replaying in my head. When playing cards I might play 8 good hands, but the one hand I lose the game over is often the one that leaves me bitter.
How about at work? This is where the game gets serious. I work with struggling youth who are told daily, "You are a liar," "You are so lazy," "I can't deal with you anymore." "You're failing math," "Why can't you EVER get to your classes on time?" Where are the voices that say, "I know it wasn't easy but you told me honestly that you were sent to ISS - I'm proud of you for telling me," "You walked out of the class instead of hitting the teacher - I'm proud of you for controlling your anger," "You turned in half of the job applications - good job for taking action and showing initiative," "You have put a lot of hard work into studying for Science and you're now passing! I know you can do the same for English when you set your mind to it," or "You passed your first drug test! Way to go!"
I want to strengthen this voice within me and use it to speak to you and all those around me. This is called a strength based approach. I have many strengths. Some of them are - patient, good communicator, thoughtful, creative, adaptive, determined, adventurous and loyal. Take some time to write yours out. Yeah, I've got my work cut out for me on areas to improve but when I focus on what I am doing well with it gives me courage to continue the fight and fuel to keep trucking. If I'm constantly focused on the things I'm not doing well with - it creates complacency, laziness, hostility, anger, and isolating behaviors. People that keep me focused on my faults and shortcomings have no room in my life. If I have a critical eye on me the same eye turns around and glares at the world.
This doesn't mean that I walk around ignorant of my faults or pretend not to see the faults of others. It certainly does not mean I reach a point where I am faultless and incapable of admitting my shortcomings. It only means that I spend more time focusing on the good that I have accomplished and the good that others around me are achieving. What is fed with attention is nourished and finds longevity.
I'm grateful for the people in my life that have sought to stand by my side and have focused on my successes when it was easier to see my failures. Most of all I thank you God for teaching me about grace with myself and others - this is a concept I will forever continue to strive to fully grasp and reflect more clearly each day. I must also specifically note, this rant was inspired by a discussion with a fantastic lady who I am privileged to call my girlfriend. Thank you Julie for your time, wisdom, patience and chosen joy. J
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." -Philippians 4:8
“Then Jesus entered and passed through Jericho. Now behold, there was a man named Zacchaeus who was a chief tax collector, and he was rich. And he sought to see who Jesus was, but could not because of the crowd, for he was of short stature. So he ran ahead and climbed up into a sycamore tree to see Him, for He was going to pass that way. And when Jesus came to the place, He looked up and saw him, and said, ‘Zacchaeus, make haste and come down, for today I must stay at your house.’ So he made haste and came down, and received Him joyfully. But when they saw it, they all complained, saying, ‘He has gone to be a guest with a man who is a sinner.’ Then Zacchaeus stood and said to the Lord, ‘Look, Lord, I give half of my goods to the poor; and if I have taken anything from anyone by false accusation, I restore fourfold.’” And Jesus said to him, ‘Today salvation has come to this house, because he also is a son of Abraham; for the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost’” (Luke 19:1-10).
As far as my first job goes... the 'A' might have been busted but I did a good job at missing the 'C' and the 'E'! A co-worker repaired it with masking tape for me and the boss man gave me a raise the following week. ;)
