Sitting at home sick eating hot soup and watching a movie. Work phone begins to ring.
-RING, RING
"Hello, this is Jason."
"I know you're out driving around so come get me from school."
"Jake, what do you need me to get you from school for?"
"I'm out. The school day is over."
"Okay... why are you callling me to pick you up."
"Because we're meeting today and I want you to get me from school so I don't have to walk home."
"Well Jake, I'm home sick and we will not be meeing today."
"Oh, uh, well, it's whatever." -CLICK
Talking with an older man later this evening, discussing how to fix an ant infestation...
He begins -
"Sugar doesn't actually work to attract ants, they just go around it."
"Well if you use fake sugar, like Sweet n' Low, it will take care of them. They eat it and it poisons them."
"I don't think so. They actually don't like sugar."
"Oh, well maybe it depends on the type of ants. I worked maintenance at a camp and that is what we used to take care of them. We put Sweet n' Low packets all over and it took care of them within a day's time. It was pretty cool!"
"That's because they just went around it."
I walk away, smiling as I recall vaccuming up piles of dead ants following the Sweet n' Low treatment.
Why do people get into power struggles? A lack of personal value. If I do not value myself already, I must prove my value and worth by attempting to dominate others and have power over them. I'm sure at times when I feel low, insecure and hurt I have been guilty of initiating a power struggle. To be honest though, most days I see very little motivation in attempting to overpower another for the sake of an ego boost. It makes me feel like a 5 year old. Yet another reason I have to be greatful that I have a God who places great value upon me that no one can take away.
The best way I have learned to deal with power struggles with others who are intitiating them? Don't participate, walk away, end the conversation, move on. A struggle only exists when two people are pulling against eachother.
Just a thought I had to put out there.
Apr 13, 2013
Feb 1, 2013
Strengths Perspective
Drawing a deep breath of satisfaction, I stand in the parking lot gazing upward upon the big red neon letters - ACE. Smiling I dawn my red vest with pride and pin on my name tag bearing the inscription, "Jason - Yard Laborer." This was my first REAL job - W2, I9's and all. It was my final year at Chino Valley High and I had made the exciting step into the working class.
Whistling, I walked through the store towards the back greeting my co-workers as I passed, "Hey Bob, good to see ya!... How ya doing Jim?... Good morning Erica - the coffee smells great!" I grab a Styrofoam cup, poor myself a freshly brewed cup of Joe, and head out the back door. I'm greeted by the familiar and wonderful scent of freshly cut lumber. I head towards the sound of a rumbling diesel engine springing to life and see my supervisor Matt dismounting the fork lift. "Hey Jason, I need you to take those pallets of fire logs to the front of the store." I quickly down the last bit of coffee and climb onto the driver’s seat. "You remember how to run that thing now, don't ya?" "Yeah, I got it boss!" I disengage the e-brake, stretch my leg out to compress the clutch and yank the stubborn stick into 1st. The beast roars to life and I raise the forks slightly as I spear the first pallet. I tilt the forks back, elevate, kick it in reverse, spin around and head to the front of the store in one slick motion. Cruising up to the store front I pause to make sure no customers are in the target zone. Stacked neatly in front of the store is one full pallet of fire logs. I raise the forks up and prepare to drive the new pallet right on top, closing the distance with a confident speed - 10 ft...8 ft....6 ft.....4 ft.....bang! I'm startled by the noise and horrified i gaze upward along the fork beam to see the overhanging roof. My gut churns as I notice the big red 'A' in ACE has now been slightly disfigured. In a panic I glance around and see that no one but me and God is aware of my mishap.
Eventually, I summon the courage to make the walk of shame upstairs towards the manager's office. Dave opens his office door to my timid knock and welcomes me in with a premature smile. With sweaty hands and a trembling voice I precede to retell the horrid incident. Dave looks at me sternly and states, "Well, you're right, that's not good news." Prepared for the worse I state in desperation, "Whatever it costs for a new sign you can take straight out of my paycheck." With a slight chuckle, Dave says with a smirk, "It would take A LOT of paychecks to replace a sign like that." Dave agrees to take a look at it and thanks me for reporting the incident to him. My stomach lives in my throat for the remainder of the shift. At the days end, I head to the mail boxes to fill out my timesheet. Inside my box I find a sealed envelope with my name on it. Expecting a bill or letter of termination I slowly opened the paper and read:
Dear Jason,
I was very impressed with you for reporting to me immediately following the incident with the sign. Accidents happen and it means a great deal that you honestly owned up to me for your mistake. You are a true man of integrity and this will take you far in life. It's a privilege to have you working for us here.
Sincerely,
Dave
...............................................................
Driving down the road, I can quickly spot drivers who need a little education from the Department of Jason. At the end of the day I can take inventory of the people who acted foolishly or wronged me in some way - the bag lady who failed to protect my bananas, the postman who failed to deliver my package on time, or the dude who stole my pull up bar at the gym. It's easy to do this with myself too - I can look at my to-do list and fret over the two out of 15 items that I didn't get crossed off. I can say a dozen intelligent things in a day’s time (on a good day) yet the foolish remark that escaped is too often one I'm replaying in my head. When playing cards I might play 8 good hands, but the one hand I lose the game over is often the one that leaves me bitter.
How about at work? This is where the game gets serious. I work with struggling youth who are told daily, "You are a liar," "You are so lazy," "I can't deal with you anymore." "You're failing math," "Why can't you EVER get to your classes on time?" Where are the voices that say, "I know it wasn't easy but you told me honestly that you were sent to ISS - I'm proud of you for telling me," "You walked out of the class instead of hitting the teacher - I'm proud of you for controlling your anger," "You turned in half of the job applications - good job for taking action and showing initiative," "You have put a lot of hard work into studying for Science and you're now passing! I know you can do the same for English when you set your mind to it," or "You passed your first drug test! Way to go!"
I want to strengthen this voice within me and use it to speak to you and all those around me. This is called a strength based approach. I have many strengths. Some of them are - patient, good communicator, thoughtful, creative, adaptive, determined, adventurous and loyal. Take some time to write yours out. Yeah, I've got my work cut out for me on areas to improve but when I focus on what I am doing well with it gives me courage to continue the fight and fuel to keep trucking. If I'm constantly focused on the things I'm not doing well with - it creates complacency, laziness, hostility, anger, and isolating behaviors. People that keep me focused on my faults and shortcomings have no room in my life. If I have a critical eye on me the same eye turns around and glares at the world.
This doesn't mean that I walk around ignorant of my faults or pretend not to see the faults of others. It certainly does not mean I reach a point where I am faultless and incapable of admitting my shortcomings. It only means that I spend more time focusing on the good that I have accomplished and the good that others around me are achieving. What is fed with attention is nourished and finds longevity.
I'm grateful for the people in my life that have sought to stand by my side and have focused on my successes when it was easier to see my failures. Most of all I thank you God for teaching me about grace with myself and others - this is a concept I will forever continue to strive to fully grasp and reflect more clearly each day. I must also specifically note, this rant was inspired by a discussion with a fantastic lady who I am privileged to call my girlfriend. Thank you Julie for your time, wisdom, patience and chosen joy. J
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." -Philippians 4:8
“Then Jesus entered and passed through Jericho. Now behold, there was a man named Zacchaeus who was a chief tax collector, and he was rich. And he sought to see who Jesus was, but could not because of the crowd, for he was of short stature. So he ran ahead and climbed up into a sycamore tree to see Him, for He was going to pass that way. And when Jesus came to the place, He looked up and saw him, and said, ‘Zacchaeus, make haste and come down, for today I must stay at your house.’ So he made haste and came down, and received Him joyfully. But when they saw it, they all complained, saying, ‘He has gone to be a guest with a man who is a sinner.’ Then Zacchaeus stood and said to the Lord, ‘Look, Lord, I give half of my goods to the poor; and if I have taken anything from anyone by false accusation, I restore fourfold.’” And Jesus said to him, ‘Today salvation has come to this house, because he also is a son of Abraham; for the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost’” (Luke 19:1-10).
Whistling, I walked through the store towards the back greeting my co-workers as I passed, "Hey Bob, good to see ya!... How ya doing Jim?... Good morning Erica - the coffee smells great!" I grab a Styrofoam cup, poor myself a freshly brewed cup of Joe, and head out the back door. I'm greeted by the familiar and wonderful scent of freshly cut lumber. I head towards the sound of a rumbling diesel engine springing to life and see my supervisor Matt dismounting the fork lift. "Hey Jason, I need you to take those pallets of fire logs to the front of the store." I quickly down the last bit of coffee and climb onto the driver’s seat. "You remember how to run that thing now, don't ya?" "Yeah, I got it boss!" I disengage the e-brake, stretch my leg out to compress the clutch and yank the stubborn stick into 1st. The beast roars to life and I raise the forks slightly as I spear the first pallet. I tilt the forks back, elevate, kick it in reverse, spin around and head to the front of the store in one slick motion. Cruising up to the store front I pause to make sure no customers are in the target zone. Stacked neatly in front of the store is one full pallet of fire logs. I raise the forks up and prepare to drive the new pallet right on top, closing the distance with a confident speed - 10 ft...8 ft....6 ft.....4 ft.....bang! I'm startled by the noise and horrified i gaze upward along the fork beam to see the overhanging roof. My gut churns as I notice the big red 'A' in ACE has now been slightly disfigured. In a panic I glance around and see that no one but me and God is aware of my mishap.
Eventually, I summon the courage to make the walk of shame upstairs towards the manager's office. Dave opens his office door to my timid knock and welcomes me in with a premature smile. With sweaty hands and a trembling voice I precede to retell the horrid incident. Dave looks at me sternly and states, "Well, you're right, that's not good news." Prepared for the worse I state in desperation, "Whatever it costs for a new sign you can take straight out of my paycheck." With a slight chuckle, Dave says with a smirk, "It would take A LOT of paychecks to replace a sign like that." Dave agrees to take a look at it and thanks me for reporting the incident to him. My stomach lives in my throat for the remainder of the shift. At the days end, I head to the mail boxes to fill out my timesheet. Inside my box I find a sealed envelope with my name on it. Expecting a bill or letter of termination I slowly opened the paper and read:
Dear Jason,
I was very impressed with you for reporting to me immediately following the incident with the sign. Accidents happen and it means a great deal that you honestly owned up to me for your mistake. You are a true man of integrity and this will take you far in life. It's a privilege to have you working for us here.
Sincerely,
Dave
...............................................................
Driving down the road, I can quickly spot drivers who need a little education from the Department of Jason. At the end of the day I can take inventory of the people who acted foolishly or wronged me in some way - the bag lady who failed to protect my bananas, the postman who failed to deliver my package on time, or the dude who stole my pull up bar at the gym. It's easy to do this with myself too - I can look at my to-do list and fret over the two out of 15 items that I didn't get crossed off. I can say a dozen intelligent things in a day’s time (on a good day) yet the foolish remark that escaped is too often one I'm replaying in my head. When playing cards I might play 8 good hands, but the one hand I lose the game over is often the one that leaves me bitter.
How about at work? This is where the game gets serious. I work with struggling youth who are told daily, "You are a liar," "You are so lazy," "I can't deal with you anymore." "You're failing math," "Why can't you EVER get to your classes on time?" Where are the voices that say, "I know it wasn't easy but you told me honestly that you were sent to ISS - I'm proud of you for telling me," "You walked out of the class instead of hitting the teacher - I'm proud of you for controlling your anger," "You turned in half of the job applications - good job for taking action and showing initiative," "You have put a lot of hard work into studying for Science and you're now passing! I know you can do the same for English when you set your mind to it," or "You passed your first drug test! Way to go!"
I want to strengthen this voice within me and use it to speak to you and all those around me. This is called a strength based approach. I have many strengths. Some of them are - patient, good communicator, thoughtful, creative, adaptive, determined, adventurous and loyal. Take some time to write yours out. Yeah, I've got my work cut out for me on areas to improve but when I focus on what I am doing well with it gives me courage to continue the fight and fuel to keep trucking. If I'm constantly focused on the things I'm not doing well with - it creates complacency, laziness, hostility, anger, and isolating behaviors. People that keep me focused on my faults and shortcomings have no room in my life. If I have a critical eye on me the same eye turns around and glares at the world.
This doesn't mean that I walk around ignorant of my faults or pretend not to see the faults of others. It certainly does not mean I reach a point where I am faultless and incapable of admitting my shortcomings. It only means that I spend more time focusing on the good that I have accomplished and the good that others around me are achieving. What is fed with attention is nourished and finds longevity.
I'm grateful for the people in my life that have sought to stand by my side and have focused on my successes when it was easier to see my failures. Most of all I thank you God for teaching me about grace with myself and others - this is a concept I will forever continue to strive to fully grasp and reflect more clearly each day. I must also specifically note, this rant was inspired by a discussion with a fantastic lady who I am privileged to call my girlfriend. Thank you Julie for your time, wisdom, patience and chosen joy. J
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." -Philippians 4:8
“Then Jesus entered and passed through Jericho. Now behold, there was a man named Zacchaeus who was a chief tax collector, and he was rich. And he sought to see who Jesus was, but could not because of the crowd, for he was of short stature. So he ran ahead and climbed up into a sycamore tree to see Him, for He was going to pass that way. And when Jesus came to the place, He looked up and saw him, and said, ‘Zacchaeus, make haste and come down, for today I must stay at your house.’ So he made haste and came down, and received Him joyfully. But when they saw it, they all complained, saying, ‘He has gone to be a guest with a man who is a sinner.’ Then Zacchaeus stood and said to the Lord, ‘Look, Lord, I give half of my goods to the poor; and if I have taken anything from anyone by false accusation, I restore fourfold.’” And Jesus said to him, ‘Today salvation has come to this house, because he also is a son of Abraham; for the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost’” (Luke 19:1-10).
As far as my first job goes... the 'A' might have been busted but I did a good job at missing the 'C' and the 'E'! A co-worker repaired it with masking tape for me and the boss man gave me a raise the following week. ;)
Jan 9, 2013
The Gym
I struggle to force my foot into the already laced bright orange running shoe, thinking once again how ridiculous they look. I purchased them online at a discounted price for obvious reasons. As I struggle to squeeze my wide foot into the stubborn mouth, I again reprimand myself for refusing to tie and untie my shoes with each use - a bad habit that has followed me since 5th grade. I scan the long row of lockers, searching for an open one that poses the greatest inconvenience. I throw my stuff inside, lay some underwear on top as a deterrent and slam it shut.. It's really about time I get a lock. I check my pockets to make sure I have the worn index card bearing my workout routine. Dodging the naked guy exiting the showers, I walk out and commence my workout.
I grab some water from the fountain, glance at my index card, and begin the search for an open barbell. As my workout progresses I notice my muscles becoming more and more tense. Not tense from the exertion but from something entirely different. It seems every gym has them, they're always there, and learning to co-exist with them is half the battle of the workout...
THE GR-UH!-NTER
Okay, so I understand the importance of deep breathing during repetitions but is it necessary to make the whole gym aware of what rep you're on? If your weights are so heavy that they are causing you to expel a Spartan war cry with each lift, maybe kick it down a notch. When people are falling off treadmills on the other side of the gym out of fear, and a desk worker in the lobby comes running with a med bag... might consider developing a new breathing strategy.
THE DEAF BLIND THEIF
Asking if you want to work in between sets is fine - but don't nab a guys station the minute he gets up, readjust all the weights, and then just sit there between sets admiring your reflection. I workout using supersets, as do a lot of people today. Supersetting is a training method in which you do two exercises, one after the other, with no rest in between. However there always lurks some guy who's mission is to destroy your chances of completing your routine. He's usually the one tuning out everything around him with the music thumping in his ears. It's not until you stand directly between him and the mirror, wave your arms and yell,"CAN I FINISH?!" that he snaps back to reality and says, "Oh, were you using this?"
THE CHUCK NORRIS
Hey, I'm using the same weight. Can I work in with you? - "Ha ha, naw, this is just my warm up."
Maybe it is just your warm up - but I still resent you for it.
THE TALKER
Um, I hate to interrupt your discourse on how terrible our President is doing and how his fiscal policies are creating a worldwide economic crisis that is going to lead to WWIII ending the existence of modern mankind while the machines take over.... but can I grab those 35s behind you? I go the gym to workout. Some people go to socialize and that's fine. But at least do it in a place where you're not impeding the flow of the crazy few who are trying to compete a workout. Also, please don't try to talk over the Spartan on the squat machine... you won't win.
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